


why are you like this, sylvain

by wasabisushi



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Developing Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, fujoshis dont touch or else, gay writing for the gays, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:08:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22611535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasabisushi/pseuds/wasabisushi
Summary: sylvain jose gautier is living with his best friend, felix hugo fraldarius, and comes upon an ad online for free samples of cake for married couples and is struck with a "brilliant idea"
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Ferdinand von Aegir/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic i've ever publicly released so cheers folks, hope you enjoy my ramblings of a rarepair (and i am so sorry for the horrid title lmao)

It was the late morning when Felix had suddenly threw open Sylvain's door, whether out of rage or excitement was unknown to the ginger at the time. He was simply minding his own business, reading some novel he picked up earlier that day and chewing on the end of a pen. Realization had only hit him when Felix sat down on his bed and glowered at him before pointing to a post on FaceBook from on his phone, Sylvain closed his book and scratched the back of his head.

"What the fuck is _this_ , Sylvain?" Felix again gestured to the post, which read something about asking for someone to join them as a fake husband and/or wife to get free cake samples from a bakery downtown. Sylvain squinted before he simply shrugged, "I wanted to pick up a cutie tonight y'know, it's boring just sitting around here reading or mindlessly browsing twitter or some shit."

Felix didn't break eye contact, "Maybe it wouldn't be so boring if you got a job or something, I don't mean to be pushy but it'd actually be a big help, to you and myself. Whatever though, good-luck getting anyone to respond. Much less anyone who isn't some creep." 

"Why don't you come with me then?" Sylvain winked and Felix elbowed him in the side, "In your dreams, idiot," and he got up and left the room, not bothering to close the door. Sylvain looked towards his phone on his nightstand when it vibrated, a response? He hoped so, the free samples ended tonight and he desperately wanted to get some. Upon turning the phone on and seeing the notification on the lock screen, he nearly jumped for joy, someone _had_ commented on his post. His plan was all coming together brilliantly, and he couldn't help but snicker to himself, and now all that was left was to see who had responded. He opened FaceBook and clicked on the red ping and his interest was all the more piqued when he read the name 'Ferdinand Aegir', the straight A student from high-school wanted to to something so stupid with him? Nonetheless he was happy and responded with the place and time for when they'd meet. Sylvain ran out of his room and jumped for joy, nearly scaring Felix and their pet cat, Bookie who put his ears back and stared at him. 

"HAHA, in YOUR face, Felix! Someone responded, look, look, and it's NOT a creep." Sylvain shoved his phone in Felix's face, who at the time was trying his best to just clean the dishes. 

He finished cleaning a plate and putting it in the dish rack before turning towards Sylvain and resting his hands on his hips and tilting his head to the side, "You're a lucky bastard, you know that? Who is it this time?" Felix crossed his arms now and gave Sylvain the same old accusing glare. 

"None other than that preppy dude from school, Ferdinand, if you even remember him." 

Felix snorted, "Really? That douche?" He shook his head, "I think you can do better than that."

"It's not like we're _actually_ married, you act like I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him."

" _Sylvain_ , I know you. I've known you since we were little, and many of your little hookups end up lasting for months before you get your heart broken. And who's there to console you every time? Me. I just don't want to see you hurt again."

"I just told you this isn't a hookup, just a simple scam y'know. I appreciate your care though, silly," Sylvain hugged him tightly, basically lifting him off the floor, "I won't get attached this time." 

"Sure," Felix said after being put down, "I wish you luck then in your cake-stealing adventures."

Sylvain shook his head and returned to his room, throwing on a slightly decent shape hoodie and a pair on jeans to look at least like he was putting in effort. He threw on a pair of old black converse and grabbed his car keys, and saying a goodbye to Felix and Bookie. Sylvain was ready for a good time and by god, he was going to get it. 

It didn't take long to reach the bakery and he could've walked if he wanted but Ferdinand lived farther away from the town and was unable to drive there at the time, so Sylvain had offered to pick him up. It didn't even occur to him until now that it would've seemed weird if they showed up in different cars as a 'married couple'. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, the sun was still fairly high in the sky and around maybe 65 degrees he assumed. It only took around 12 minutes to arrive at Ferdinand's house once he got outside the town, when he pulled into the driveway he was quite astonished by how big the land was. Not only was it a huge place but there was so much open land Sylvain could see for miles, there was a horse pen nearby with a couple black steeds. He assumed Ferdinand was a horse lover, and moved on to knock at the door and while he waited for someone to answer he looked around to see what there was to look at, trees lined the driveway, while various bushes and flowers surrounded the front of the house. There was a big garage next to the house and he could only assume how many cars they owned. He knocked again, a bit worried nobody had heard him, before he noticed there was a doorbell and that's probably why. After a couple presses on the doorbell, someone came, although he had hoped it was not Ferdinand because who he was looking at was a large, bald man. He wore a wine red robe and looked at Sylvain accusingly, he looked like your typical deadbeat dad. 

"Hello? I'm here for uh, Ferdinand?" Sylvain mustered a smile and threw up a peace sign for god knows why, the older man turned around and called up the stairs for Ferdinand. Sylvain expected him to look how he did in his profile picture but instead Ferdinand had long -- and by god, beautiful -- hair, instead of the short wavy hair he had in his image, he wasn't at all disappointed but was a bit stunned by how good he looked. He also had freckles on his cheeks and a wonderful smile, and he was a ginger, much like Sylvain himself. He was also much more fancily dressed, wearing a cravat and an buttoned overcoat, Sylvain felt severely under-dressed compared to him, but he didn't really have any fancy clothes apart from his prom suit which probably didn't even fit him anymore. He connected some dots and figured the bald man was Ferdinand's dad, albeit, they didn't look similar in the least bit apart from hair color so he assumed that Ferdinand got his good looks from his mother. He even had the golden eyes to match his hair, like some sort of prince from a fairy tale, and Sylvain found himself lost in them. 

"Thank you, father, I'll be leaving now. Good-bye!" Ferdinand stepped out on the porch and closed the door behind him and turned towards Sylvain who was mesmerized, he was even the same height as Sylvain, god. "Should we get going then?" Ferdinand smiled at him and began to walk to the car. 

Sylvain nodded and jogged to the drivers side, climbing in, he slid the key into the ignition and started it. "I noticed you have a few horses, do you ride?" 

"Not as much as I used to honestly, been a bit caught up in more demanding tasks." Ferdinand grabbed a hair tie from his pocket and put his hair back into messy bun while Sylvain pulled out of the driveway and began driving back into town. Sylvain kept his eyes on the road of course but found himself taking quick glances at his passenger, he looked even better with his hair up and he had to bring himself back. "Soooo," Sylvain smiled, "I wanted to thank you for doing this with me, I know we haven't really chatted since high-school so it means a lot y'know. Even if it's the stupid little things. God I was so bored, my roommate is on me all the time about getting out and doing something." 

"Of course! I myself needed a time to relax, works been draining me as of late. So I'm glad I get to reconnect with an old classmate, and have fun while doing it." 

By the time they arrived in town, the sun was beginning to go down but the air was still humid. Sylvain parked across from the bakery and got out of the car and waited for Ferdinand to come around to his side and they held hands as they crossed the road. Even from outside, the bakery smelled amazing and even better once they entered. A blonde lady stood behind the counter, scrolling through her phone. 

Ferdinand spoke first, "Hello ma'am, we're here for the free samples? Please and thank you." Even with a small bow, Sylvain couldn't believe this guy and yet he was so enveloped in how he acted and how he looked. He completely forgot that they were even holding hands, it felt so warm, it'd been a while since Sylvain had done anything like this. Suddenly he felt rather sad, when he realized that this wasn't real and the two were just here for the free cake. The waitress brought them both 4 plates of thin slices of cake and left them alone, all pieces looked very appetizing and they immediately dug in. 

"Definitely worth it, thank you again, Ferdie," Sylvain winked as he ate another bite of his chocolate cake. Ferdinand smiled softly as he reached across the table with a napkin to wipe a bit of frosting off the side of Sylvain's mouth, and he couldn't help but blush bright red. 

"Oh dear, Sylvain? Are you alright? You're as bright as a cherry, are you sick or something?" Ferdinand got up and looked him over and Sylvain coughed hard. 

"No, no," he coughed, "I'm fine, Ferdie. Thank you." What the fuck just happened, what the absolute fuck just happened. Sylvain's mind whirled, he promised Felix he wouldn't fall for someone in another random hookup but god... Here he was in front of this literal angel, with perfect orange hair and the perfect face and perfect eyes. He swooned and caught himself staring again. 

"Are you sure?" Ferdinand got closer and patted his back, handing him a handkerchief but Sylvain declined it kindly. "No, I assure you I'm fine, thank you." 

"Alright, love." Ferdinand sat back down and kept eating. 

Sylvain was just shocked, his heart thrummed against his chest and he could swear there was smoke coming out of his ears. He'd never gotten this flustered before by any one, why the hell was it so easy for Ferdinand? Did he just hit the right notes? He couldn't stand it being so easy for someone he'd barely talked to ever in his life, he'd almost be mad if he wasn't so jealous. They ate in mostly silence for the rest of it, and Sylvain could hardly stand it, the silence was too much yet he couldn't bring himself to say anything so he just blurted out what came to mind. 

"Hey uh, how willing would you be to hang out at my place sometime? Or go out somewhere?" Sylvain tried his best to maintain his eye contact, and could hardly keep himself from hugging the ginger across from him as he smiled and his freckled cheeks turned a slight pink. 

"I'd love to, Sylvain. I've enjoyed this little masquerade." He reached over and took Sylvain's hand in his own, lifting it to his lips and giving it a soft kiss. 

For fucks sake, he was a lot smoother than Sylvain ever expected him to be. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Sylvain plan to move out of their cramped house, and Sylvain plans a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, wasn't expecting last chapter to get any positive responses but I'm glad it did (:

It was Friday now, around eight at night, and Sylvain had finally managed to get a job at a retail store downtown and ironically close to the bakery he'd visited a couple days ago. He'd only managed to get this job through Felix, or rather Felix's father Rodrigue, he was an intimidating yet friendly guy and Sylvain was glad he'd gotten the job, despite not having the same amount of free time as he used to. At least now he could contribute to the 'moving funds' as Felix had dubbed the empty coffee canister on their kitchen counter at home. Hopefully this weekend simply because both Sylvain and Felix were getting fed up with the current living situation. Sylvain did feel a bit guilty, as their childhood friend had allowed them to live there for free, but it was cramped and didn't have enough space as either of them would like.

Sylvain crossed his arms and sighed, it was only him and a few other coworkers for the late night shift and he still had around two or three more hours left. If there were any customers even in the store at this time, he didn't see them. He was going to go grab a drink from the employee lounge before someone tapped him on the shoulder, so he turned to face them.

"Excuse me, Sylvain. Would you mind taking over my shift? Nobody's even here and I'd like to go home and not stay in this hell-hole until 12 am." Hilda smiled at him innocently, of course, she'd asked this for the fifth time tonight. She played with a strand of her hair in what he thought was an attempt to flirt or at least persuade him to do what she wanted.

"Sorry, Hilda. I want to get home at much as you do." He smiled back at her and shrugged, he really didn't have anything waiting for him once he got back. Maybe Felix would be up on his computer unless he was asked to work overtime. There was Bookie too but he was really just a cat. Hilda huffed and walked off and Sylvain didn't even bother to go and get his drink now, he wasn't thirsty anymore. He decided he'd just try to pass some time by scrolling through whatever social media he had on his phone and text Felix to see if he was home.

_hey u home yet_

_Yeah, why?_ Judging by the fast response, Sylvain guessed he was already relaxing or something of the sort and he admitted he was a bit jealous.

_idk, nobodys here and its boring :(_

_You have a hour left, I'm sure you can tough it out._

Sylvain groaned, at least it wasn't as long as he thought. He went back and scrolled through his contacts in hopes maybe someone would be up for idle chat while he waited, he glimpsed around for any oncoming customers but it was only a few of his coworkers sweeping the floor or putting things on shelves. The only name who caught his eye out of the 50 something contacts he had was Ferdinand's, but he was anxious about talking to him since the whole thing at the bakery. Not like anything bad happened, no, of course not. Just a lot of good things, in too little time, was a bit overwhelming to think about. At the same time we wanted to send a quick "hey how's it goin'?" but he didn't want to bother Ferdinand, should he be working or even sleeping. So he settled for sending a simple "hi" and shutting off his phone, no one had ever made him feel so anxious, and he'd been with plenty of women and men. To his luck, a middle aged man was approaching his check out with only about four items, though just as he was placing them on the conveyor belt, Sylvain felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He checked out each item and charged the man and waved him a friendly good-bye, before quickly pulling out his phone and typing in the pass code. To his surprise Ferdinand had actually responded, which made the butterflies in his stomach go into a craze.

_Hello :)_

_hi again, wasnt really expecting a response. sry but im gonna have to text when i get home, shift ends in like 2 min_

Like a very responsible adult, he left on the one minute mark, waving a goodbye to Ashe who was cleaning the floor near the entrance. He walked out into the parking lot, it was lukewarm but still the norm for nine pm in Colorado. In a few seconds he was on the road and on his way home, and he would be lying to say he was a bit too eager to get home and text Ferdinand. It was only a few minutes to the edge of town where he lived, which he was thankful for so he didn't have to drive a hour to work like Felix did. He parked in the driveway and locked the car after stepping out, and then went to unlock the door. But, before he could, Felix opened the door and a familiar face stood behind him.

"Well, Dimitri, you bastard. You finally came to visit," Sylvain gave his friend a big hug, "How have you been keeping then?"

Dimitri talked about his recent activities in life, he'd visited a family member across the country last week, and got moved to a new location for his job. Felix told them to sit down on the couch while he grabbed a few drinks from the fridge.

"So you guys are moving out of here soon? That's good, I felt bad about giving you two this place anyways. But it's all I could offer at the time." Dimitri took a sip of the beer, he had an odd taste, or at least in Sylvain's opinion.

Felix nodded, "We found a nice place in town, it's a cozy house with two bed and bath, and plenty of storage space. Last time I counted we were relatively close to our goal and should be able to move in this weekend with a few hundred bucks left."

Sylvain listened to the two chatter for a bit while he texted back and forth with Ferdinand, he had apparently gone horse riding today after remembering their chat from a couple days ago, though fell off attempting to get on once or twice. Sylvain giggled, which caught the attention of Dimitri. "And who might have caught your eye this time, Sylvain?" The blonde leaned closer to Sylvain and tilted his head, Felix shook his head.

"It's Ferdinand, you remember him from high-school I'm sure." Felix told Dimitri, who nodded but gave some thought before responding. "He's a sweet kid, but his father is the real problem," he laughed, "Is this another fling though, or are you actually serious?"

"First off, how do you not know it's someone else? Second, no, we're just chatting."

Felix scoffed and nudged him, "Every one you've told me you're 'just chatting with' has ended up at our place at least once or twice."

"Aaaand, Felix, is it such a crime to have a friend over?" Sylvain stuck his tongue out at him childishly and the other two laughed.

"Well, God, I haven't seen Ferdinand since school, you should bring him over during the weekend and I'll be sure to swing by at some point to pay you two a visit. I think Edelgard mentioned something about him a while back, and that they were working in the same business or something of the sort." Dimitri waved his hand, as if he was dismissing the thought. Sylvain remembered Dimitri's step sibling, she was a refined student in high-school and now apparently she was the president of the chamber of commerce for the town. Dimitri himself worked alongside her as vice president, although he was relocated to do some more financial related business while some dude named Hubert took over temporary work.

"I'd like to meet him again myself." Felix smiled and took a long drink from his own glass, which was filled with his favorite white wine.

Sylvain wasn't much of a drinker so he instead had a cup of Mello Yellow, much to Felix's disgust, since he wrongfully believed that it was the worst soda in existence. "I suppose I could ask him to come over tomorrow, or Sunday. He's kind of a busy guy."

"You say that last bit like he's running around every day, his father probably makes it so he doesn't have to work a day in his life." Felix scoffed, and went to go refill his glass.

"Actually! He works as a vet at uhhhh," Sylvain droned off while he tried to remember the name, "Boulder's Natural Animal Hospital!" Sylvain yelled from the living room in triumph.

Dimitri rolled his drink around in his glass, "Isn't that where Annette works?"

Sylvain shook his head, if he remembered correctly Annette moved out of state with Lysithea and was, quoting from a recent FaceBook post, 'living her best life on the coast'. The rest of his classmates lived within the state or at least a couple over, same could be said for his teachers. "Y'know, Dimitri, you haven't told us about _your_ love life, yet ask me about mine relentlessly! You're insufferable."

Felix had returned at this point and couldn't help but laugh, "We asked maybe twice. How about we all just spill it right now, we haven't talked for a few weeks."

Dimitri smirked, "Alright then, you can speak first then Felix. You're the youngest after all." He brushed a strand of hair from his face and pushed Sylvain into Felix playfully. Sylvain pushed him back and they almost kept going back and forth before Felix sighed.

"Fine I suppose, I've been talking to Ashe off and on. Not like there's a spark or anything between us."

"Buuuuut, you're interested aren't you," Sylvain prodded him in the side and Felix jumped a bit, "Youuuu like hiiiiim."

"Are you that immature? Sure, I can say I've taken an interest." Felix set his glass down and glared at the other two. Sylvain couldn't even recall the last time he'd seen Ashe over, but then again Felix doesn't tend to bring home dates much less crushes. Or he hadn't since he had that small romance with Annette in like, freshmen year. Even then it was a little awkward, Felix honestly was never great with romance.

Dimitri was next and he excitedly started talking about how he and Dedue were engaged now and their marriage was planned for the winter, since it reminded both of them about when they'd lived in Maine. He even showed off the ring, which was a shiny gold band that fit his finger perfectly. He went on for so long about how much he loved Dedue, Sylvain was pretty sure he'd outperformed both himself and Felix. After they'd chatted for a while, Sylvain went back to his phone to message Ferdinand, he sent him a few pictures of his own pets, a dachshund named Archie, and the horses he had seen a few days earlier at Ferdinand's house, which were named Harlow and Prada. All very formal names he thought, is everything about this guy fancy? Sylvain pondered if maybe Ferdinand was out of his league, nonetheless, he asked him if he wanted to come over Saturday if they moved into the new house. 

_Sure, I’d love to. Idm helping with moving if you need it too_

_thatd be a big help, tho are u sure ur free? dont wanna make u miss work or smth_

_Yes I’m sure_

Sylvain was dragged out of his conversation when Dimitri announced he had to get back home before it got too late, he looked at the clock to notice two hours had passed now. Felix gave a hug to Dimitri as the blonde walked out the door, jingling his keys to say goodbye. 

“I’m going to bed, tomorrows going to be a long day. I’ll have to call the realtors in the morning so we can meet up and pay them. Then we just have to start moving in.” Felix shuffled away to his bedroom while Sylvain picked up the glasses and put them in the sink, deciding to clean them while he was at it. Then he went to change out of his work uniform and throw on some pajamas, which for him, was a pair of red sweatpants and a gray t-shirt. After throwing a few things in boxes to make it a bit easier on himself in the morning, he decided to get some rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry there wasn't a whole lot of ferdievain this chapter, I wanted to try to flesh out some relationships a bit more & like, a better setting and characters to get an idea on how to continue it.
> 
> Might be a bit till the next update since I have oc stuff I'm thinking of doing (:

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed make sure to let me know somehow!!! any positive feedback is always nice ^_^ 
> 
> you can follow me on twitter @felix_thy_love (i mostly just rt but sometimes i talk about stupid stuff y'know)


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